Working with Children and Animals

First, a quick update on what happened last week when I wasn't here again. Key things to note are: Matt's less than stylish placing of chewing gum when on stage; Rod's character is called Lord LANGFORD; the children picked up the dances a lot faster than the adults appear to have done; musicians like to have cues; teenagers wearing wigs is really really funny; we did the whole thing! There was more but since it's now a week overdue, I've left it a little too late. I promise not to go overseas again until after panto now. It's bad enough that there are rehearsals scheduled to clash with my poetry class, without missing Sunday rehearsals too! And now, on with this week's blog...


Lots of children here tonight so we start with the first two songs, which involve the children. A quick reminder to the children of their respective roles in these songs, a query over how much dialogue is to be done before the song as a cue (not much, is the answer), the band start to twang, bash and twiddle, and we're almost ready. Kim asks me to multitask and take a few photos but I'm so rubbish at taking photos that I cast around for someone else not involved in the first song (Rod) and delegate. The band experiment with some different harmonies briefly and the children make a valiant effort at the various movements. One of the groups has Miles and Sandy and lots of small children, so Miles and Sandy have to crouch to make their hands meet. Song Two has the galloping step which Lesley in particular seems to be enjoying, doubtless as it's warming her up. Rod is holding up a flag as high as he can manage but it still obscures Chris's face - just as well Chris isn't in the group in song one that involves all the children!

Martin is happy enough for now with that and moves swiftly on the Song Eighteen and the walk down. The children are grouped and then arranged at the back. They will look better if they link hands and walk forward together to bow, at which point the audience will applaud wildly (NB audience, you have been warned). We have a quick practice of the children walking forward and we do indeed all applaud wildly. Now for a practice with the music - we are allowed to clap if we are in time - and then the rest of the cast have to remember the order in which they walk down. Kim is running (literally) a little late but that's probably her royal prerogative. Catherine has opted for a plié rather than a bow, and then we've reached the end of the walk down for now. Martin makes an executive decision based on the length of one of the lines that the king and queen will come down separately and we go again. It has to be said that the Nursery Rhyme folk are less coordinated in their bow than the children - Lesley, keep up! Dan is finding the dance a little harder, as he has his arms full of small child. He tries putting her down but she'd rather be the 'real good friend' of the song and join in the dancing.

And so on to the final song. Beauty has been jilted again (she very much appreciated the Puppini Sisters song of that title that I lent her) but dances round an empty space in an inverse imitation of Norma Shearer (The Red Shoes, in case it's still on the tip of your tongue) most successfully.

Song Eighteen is going to happen again now as some of the moves are a little imprecise (aka some people don't know the moves). Daisy, Kim and Ellie have to stand at the front to demonstrate and everyone else is supposed to pay attention. See how good it looks when you all get it right together, Martin says. Random people try it out with varying degrees of success and even when everyone tries the first line again together, not all hands are moving in synchronisation. Liz suggests a simplified version which may not look as fancy but at least everyone can do it. Each line of choreography is broken down into simpler instructions and we do it a line at a time slowly, though we are trying to sing as well. Celia apologises for being a nag and repeatedly asking people to be quiet, but to be honest there's a lot of chatter and even if you know what you're doing, other people need to hear the instructions. Dan's small sidekick is really enjoying the dance, to judge by the grin on her face. It's a bit of a squish as lines of dancers have to move past each other and a few people check on minor details, but Mark asks if we can do the whole song again. Martin reminds people on the various lengths of the final notes but MD Steve disagrees. The decision is made to run it and see how it actually goes. A couple of people fail to turn towards the band but otherwise it's much better.

Finale song again now. A quick reminder of some of the lyrics as Dan resumes his correct place in the line-up (contrary to his sidekick's choice of location), a reminder to the band of which song it is, and off we go. A slight variation in the middle where salutes and bows are rather random means that's the bit that Martin targets. We work through that section slowly to a point of improvement, Martin reminds us that when we're facing the back, we need to turn our heads slightly in order to be heard singing (because of course we will all be singing and smiling, all the time!) and then we go through it again. Andy seems to be getting a little carried away with his regal waving but it does save him the trouble of learning the dance moves for that section.

Re-running the walk down again, children included before they go. Blossom (or is it Petal?) has got a bit previous, arriving for her bow with an entire family already! And then straight into the finale song so that everyone can demonstrate how well they know the words for the bit when they're at the front!

Quickly, Martin wants to do song number three. The children are required for this too and props are distributed. Everyone needs to be offstage before the scene starts and Quiet! After a moment.... It looks such fun capturing Rod that Little Dan Mark II runs forward to join in (again) - how she will be stopped during an actual performance, goodness only knows. Jackie would like it on record that Daisy went wrong in this song, though to be entirely fair, I've seen her go wrong earlier this evening too (and mislead Rod in the process, who was copying her at the time).

Now it's time to run through Andy and Shirley's duet, which also involves child dancers. Rod wonders who the big kid in black is (Teni!) but I think he knows really. Through it once more, with some energy this time... Martin apologises when they reach the end but they have to do it again because the children's line needs to be at least 10 times louder - but then Teni wants to do it to the end from there anyway, with or without mini-Dan Mark II. This nearly backfires when Teni and Shirley both almost collapses in fits of giggles but they survive and move on.

And now the children are able to go home, although if some of the older ones want to stay, Martin is happy for them to do some of their lines at the appropriate time. The rest of us are going to run it from the top! Once Steve has been dragged away from an in-depth conversation, the band are able to play the intro music and we can start getting into position.

Some of the lines are not quite the way Martin wrote them, and Charlie falls rather too realistically for comfort though it makes the cast laugh (meanies!) but on the whole people know what they're doing, and when. Dorota's efforts at being scary reduce those around her to gibbering laughing wrecks, even when she then offers to breathe loudly. By the time we reach song one, Dan has got onto his knees so that he can help mini-Dan Mark I with the dance steps but unfortunately,the Dame is sitting in the audience trying to offer helpful hints and Abby is completely absorbed by what he's doing instead. Mark II manages to give Dan the slip and instigates an obstacle course when the chorus are supposed to be galloping past which is entertaining for those of us watching. A stag is accidentally transformed into a slag by Martin so obviously Steve copies the director. The magic moment arrives and everyone is frozen, except Rod who is shaking with laughter as Mark II tries to help carry the flag and a conversation at the same time. In fact, she doesn't let go until Dan prises her hands from the flagpole.

Rod turns up halfway through the next scene with more hair than he's had in a long time - doubtless as a result of the magic wands that Mark II has been brandishing at all the cast during the first half of the scene. After we've *all* recovered from that, she helpfully starts to move the furniture across the stage, so Mark dutifully accepts the magic wand and then sits on the chair so that it can't be moved. Which is not for want of trying. Dan and Steve find it difficult to focus on their lines and forget many of them as the Dame flaunts her all in an effort to pin the chair down with her foot and then picks up the erstwhile removal lady and seats her on his shoulders. (Some confusion there over the pronouns but that's pretty much how the cast felt too.) There are suggestions that the next bit, as the Dame shows first her knickers and then her skill at landing head first in buckets, might scar poor little Mark II for life, but fortunately, despite her efforts at freeing the Dame, she is retrieved to the audience before she upsets the action or herself too much.

We get at last to Song three again, this time with fewer children, though those that are here have a pretty good idea of the dance steps. Things have calmed down a bit as Dan has left and taken his children with him. Martin stands in for the Beast but forgets the words of the song - it's obviously a while since he wrote them!

The rest of the act proceeds far more sensibly in the absence of any two year olds. Daisy agrees to have a birthday for the purposes of the birthday song and those on stage sing the audience song while the rest of us sit back and listen, since we can't see the words. Song Seven gets off to a slightly rocky start as Dorota grabs Andrew and steers him to the correct place in the line, by which time they've already missed a few bars. Jackie reckons that they need Dan to get it right but I'm sure that's not the case.

Giles is reminded to do some nasty drumming for the entrance of the baddy and we repeat the cue for Song Seven with added bars so that the chorus has more time to get into position - Martin clearly noticed Dorota and Andrew's delayed start. Beauty gets her thigh slap in and Cathy makes it to the end of the scene without her voice disappearing completely.

A few quick notes at the end of act one - Liz and Christine, please get the words right. Chris, love the entrance. Andy, don't anticipate your lines so much. Miles, please take the crossbow as Rod has his hands full. A few line additions to reflect the latest news and a couple of posture reminders, but now it's time for coffee. Amazingly, the queue has formed already...

After we've all stuffed our faces, Martin calls us back to order for announcements. A reminder to push ticket sales, especially for Thursday. Friday and Saturday matinees are going very well! Next Saturday the stage is being put together, so all hands to the till, and bring money if you want to eat lunch with everyone else - Lesley Thompson is organising pizza etc. Sunday is technical rehearsal day. Teenagers, bring a litre bottle full of sand or fizzy drink to keep your wigs on. Men, please bring your make-up sponge pots. Catherine will be there from 1.30 doing make-up. Monday is another dress rehearsal but without make-up. Wednesday the show will be run with an 'audience' of front of house and anyone else who can't make it any other night. Sarah puts in a request for more people to do the street promotion on Saturday - those who aren't strong enough to help put the stage together can help dish out leaflets and still join the rest of the cast for lunch.

Before we start on act two, Martin wants another look at song three as there was apparently a problem with the circles. It goes much better this time. But before everyone can start chattering about how well it went, Martin wants to get straight on with Act Two. The song begins.... and then stops again. We need to slot Andrew into the choreography as he was away last time. Everyone is already in a pair. Who wants a threesome? (This is Martin's phrase, not mine. I don't make it all up!) Serin and Chris very bravely volunteer and we can start Act Two again.

We move on through the scenes until we get to Dan's next scene. As previously mentioned, Dan has had to go home, so Andy helpfully reads the part and Nick takes his place cuddling an armful of socks so that Steve has a chance to demonstrate his knowledge of his lines, even if not all the actions are there. Martin asks the band if they could produce some quiet music to accompany a spinning over-frothing washing machine, which can't be too noisy as there is dialogue to be done too - so a real challenge, then. Jackie demonstrates a hitherto unrealised skill of sock waving but Kim hasn't taken a photo, I'm afraid, as she was also on sock waving duties.

Charlotte starts her solo but then Steve stops her - he has been experimenting with the sound setting. "Obviously this is the time to start experimenting!" says Mark, who is looking very fetching wearing his bonnet tied under his chin. Daisy and Charlotte have evidently been working on their pas de deux as they're now coordinated for the whole dance.

We have a full complement of teens tonight so it's rather fun to watch them all dance with attitude. Also the volume of the singing is better now that all eight of them are present. Shirley falls to her knees after the song with a cry of "Help, I'm sinking!" but I do wonder if it should be 'shrinking' instead as she is now noticeably shorter... The teens do their thing but are clearly not all boy scouts as their knot-tying is in need of practice. However, Shirley gets out of the mess with some help from Lauren who on this occasion doesn't need to do very much.

In the next scene, Mark's groans have to be provided by Hilary as Mark is receiving aid and/or instructions from Martin. Fortunately, Blossom and Petal don't realise it's Hilary talking and proceed appropriately.

A reprise of song eight disguised as song fourteen has a slightly quiet start as people find their places and remember what the words are this time. Never mind, we'll know it by this time next week!

Shirley and Andy do the whole of the scene that involves the children with only Lauren representing the children - and she does an excellent job, especially on the loud sung line!

Not content with standing in for Dan and oblivious to the fact that he's just done his own scene, Andy now volunteers to stand in for Mark, who has also had to leave early. He delivers the line about Jeremy Clarkson with suitable scorn and I do wonder, given that we're based in the same county, whether any of Mr Clarkson's friends might be at the panto. Would be fun if they were! In the same scene, we also need a stand-in for the Beast but Andy can't manage that one too so Martin does it.

Due to absences, we now skip the rest of the scene with the baddy and the love duet (Beauty is so not disappointed) and head straight for the final scene. Beauty manages to sound suitably astonished when Kim claims Martin as her son and asks, 'How can that be?' but Kim isn't thrown and even corrects Hilary when she tries to prompt her.

Catherine does her solo song, to which she now knows nearly all the words, and then Martin stops the action since we've already done the last two songs earlier in the evening. Martin gives a few notes to pick the pace up but not overdo it to the point that the words are lost. Back to the circles of Song Three, which clearly still need work... The band are allowed to start packing up and a few of the soloists who aren't involved also set off, though Tina isn't quick enough and is asked to stand in for Dorota, notwithstanding her wellies. But it's not long before Martin says everyone can go.

And for anyone wondering where the animals of the title of this entry were, don't worry, they were here - I'm just still trying to preserve *some* surprises for you!

Refining Act Two!

White Rabbit-like, I'm late. Amanda has already started finessing the dancing to Song Eight when I get here - apparently it takes longer than I had realised to drive from York to Bicester and then eat some tea. Anyway, the dancers need to concentrate for this. I suspect the dancers need to concentrate for all of it, but perhaps Amanda just means she needs us to focus. There's a lot of der-der'ing though I think that is meant to represent the count, not the singing. Late arrivers are slotted in in pairs. On the second der, it's up. This may mean something to the dancers (or it may not. Were you concentrating?) and we go back to starting positions. Amanda demonstrates the step involving both the pointy toes and graceful arms and we are all going the same way. Yes, Steve, we *are* all going the same way!  Jackie briefly loses her partner Katie so that Amanda can show us how it works with a partner, but most people try to join in during the demo so Amanda has to do it again, slowly.   The next step is limited to people who feel comfortable doing it so Steve is skipped but Nick, Andy and Chris amongst others are persuaded to join in. Some take more persuasion than others. The rest of us are allowed to do repeated box steps until 'the end' and no, that's not the end of the song/dance. But it's back to the beginning and Smile! when you sing the words and do the steps. But that's only two-thirds of the way through, so there's still another few steps to master. Now there's some jogging involved to move from an arched line to straight lines/blocks. Andy and Jan, and also Nick and Kim have to move back a bit - they're clearly keen on being front and centre but Amanda's not ready for them to do that yet.  The joggers now have to organise ourselves by height, which bizarrely requires much giggling and chatter but we get there and are given additional steps in our pairs. Amanda is now demonstrating with Jackie so poor old Katie is having to work solo temporarily. We're rolling out to box steps rather than barrels but I'm still a little concerned and clearly so is Amanda as she wants to do this bit slowed down some. However, it works (more or less)! Once more with Amanda dancing in front and then she wants to do it again and watch. Martin wants us to sing, smile and move - a demanding taskmaster!  There are a few worried faces in places and some arms and feet that don't move quite in sync with the rest but it's good enough for now, and Amanda wants us to revisit Song Two, which we did last week - can we still remember it?

Rod and Steve aren't quite sure what they should be doing as they weren't given specific instructions last week but Amanda has plans for them, including galloping on. Rod is dubious...  Most of the song goes reasonably well, considering, but the middle bit needs a little work. Since Millie is here with Amanda, she gets a preview of what the children will be doing in this song and stands stage left with Sandy. Martin has a couple of reminders for us all regarding other things/people on the stage at this time so everyone except the back row has to take a step back and get a little tighter (though not in an alcoholic sense) before we run it again. Jackie takes huge pleasure from the galloping, to judge by the smile on her face. It's pretty good, so we get a chance to learn another new dance routine.

Song Nine needs debate. There are only two lines of dialogue at the beginning of Act Two before the song starts, so Martin is in favour of everyone being in place before the lights come up. Amanda has planned choreography based on everyone moving into place from the scene. A decision is reached. People are arranged in pairs to form square sets. Cathy is given the opportunity to be left out of this dance as she has a line after it, but she's happy to dance anyway. As we try to work out who is still missing from the positions, Dan is mentioned. Martin notices Steve sitting down and says in that case Dan can't be doing it. I definitely heard Steve say he would do it in that case, a comment he quickly retracts as soon as he realises he inadvertently said it out loud. There will be some inner circles and Martin suggests that maybe Beauty could be moved from circle to circle in the course of the dance but Beauty remains seated for now; time will tell. Circles are formed, unformed and reshaped into squares, then there are turns and bounces followed by a Charleston. Just in case this is too easy, we now need to do something which is subsequently named the Charleston flip step - turning and touching the heel of our right feet in the process.  We now run the song this far, particularly with half the circles facing out so that we are also facing forward. Some chassées and more cross-turn-bounce before Amanda has to leave and Martin wants to start the rehearsal proper. Fortunately, Amanda can probably make it to Friday's rehearsal so for now, we just rerun Song Eight to help embed it.

We’re starting Act Two for real at this point, so everyone needs to get into position to try out the choreography Amanda has just given us now that she's gone. Beauty tries to join in with the occasional bounce but she hasn't been given specific instructions yet so it's a little tricky for her. The rest of us don't do a bad job, though Amanda might not have shared my opinion had she been here.

Anyway, the action starts. Beauty's attempt at sounding positive isn't positive enough and I wonder if she should slap her thigh at this point, but Martin doesn't suggest it. Dan is unfortunately off saving lives again so Jackie stands in, though the Dame calls her Boris. Or Doris. One or the other. Or maybe that was Steve?  At the next line, about signing for the delivery, Jackie is the one who has to bend over - perhaps that's why she was volunteered for the role of stand-in. Mark soon has to describe Steve as an idiot and Diane is forced to defend him, so some serious acting called for.  We get to the end of the scene with Celia making occasional notes about additional acquisitions that need to be made, including wet socks. Obviously.

Charlotte does her solo to much applause again and that scene proceeds pretty well, though she and Daisy still need to work on the second half of their dance.

Next up (ish) is the teen scene and we have a full complement of teens, eight of them.  Their coffee grinders are all pretty good, though the singing is still a little quiet but perhaps it's just that not enough of the 'audience' are singing along with them.  After the first time, Martin asks for a repeat, with a little more attitude and volume in the singing, and he adds Suzanne to the stage presence, though she doesn't need to join in the dancing (shame!). He also asks Giles to play a little quieter - so that'll be a challenge! The audience are asked not to join in the singing this time. For a group of eight teenagers, they're just not yet scary enough but I'm sure they can practise that. Shirley gets to tie herself up and does it remarkably quickly so Andy assumes audibly that she's done that before. Cue much laughter.

Diane and Tina ham their next scene up considerably to much amusement though Tina grabs her stick at the wrong end initially (also the cause of much amusement). The beating goes well but Martin asks for it to be done again, despite Mark's protests, because they need to time it with the drums. After a third attempt at perfecting beating Mark, Tina and Diane appear to channel the Keystone Cops but Martin is happy to move on for now. Mark appeared to be asking for another rehearsal but perhaps he was being ironic.

We're getting ready for another chorus number now and Jenni acquires a line, though she has to deliver it with a bit more welly, which is administered via an additional five voices.  The step-slide manoeuvre in the next dance leaves a few of the back line, notably Liz, Sandy and Chris, narrowly avoiding a full-on collision with the back wall but they soldier on nobly. Miles develops an interesting distribution method for the sweets that involves his feet but Martin may not allow him to do that on the night.

The lights are dimmed for the special effects scene rehearsal which presents a problem for the musicians who can no longer see their music.  Someone finds a light for Steve and another light is shone on Sarah's music so that she can see. There's a brief rehearsal in the dark so we can all we how it works but then Martin is prepared to have the lights back on so he can direct those involved more easily. He (possibly foolishly) says that after this rehearsal of the scene we will stop for coffee, which means that all those not involved in the scene are in line within seconds, hoping to be first up for choice of cake, presumably. Fortunately it's not a problem for those rehearsing and even the band is in line before Martin has finished talking to the rehearsers.  (Disclaimer: This did not include Giles.)

Lots of homemade cake later, announcements:

·         Street promotion next Saturday with Teni, Tina, Simon and Sarah in Sheep Street - please support them!

·         Four weeks tonight it will all be over! 400 tickets sold already, get more sold. There will be more big boards going up when Bob is available to help. But push Thursday evening especially!

·         Painting - next weekend, please, all welcome, however minimal your painting skills. There's a big set so Gordon needs lots of help.

·         Costumes - Jackie and Cathy are making fantastic progress. Next Sunday from 11 a.m. chorus up at the barn for a costume call.

·         There's also a children's rehearsal next Sunday 10 to 11.30 in the hall. If any can be around in the evening between 6 and 7 too that would be great.

·         Another rehearsal next Friday of anything for which we have the cast.

·         Socks - please lend them if you can. They're only going to get wet! They don't even need to be clean (though they won't get washed).

·         Info sheets to Rob for the programme - if you don't get them to him, he will make up something embarrassing for you ("he does anyway!").

·         Donations for Martyn - there is a box that will be brought for the next few rehearsals.

·         Teens - please get hold of leggings or jogging bottoms - you need to look like little thugs (or in Chris’s and Andrew's cases, big thugs).

And now back to the action.  Andy demonstrates severe grumpiness most successfully though he might find a set of shoe trees helpful!  Tina and Diane have to indulge in some clasping which they do for longer than is possibly necessary (could someone please tell Keith at the Black Bull, I'm still trying to persuade him to come to the show!) but it's probably part of their hamming.

Someone has been plaiting the Beast's hair and he's looking rather too fashionable so some unbraiding will have to take place at some point.

The Chief Goodie tries to run through how the audience participation is going to work and considering we have the script (or at least have seen it), we seem to be remarkably slow on the uptake. Suzanne asks at a time-critical moment if we can run through it again but she is ignored; is this an experience she is used to?  We’ll have to ask Mark.

Beauty gets to the Beast and is concerned initially that he is dead. However, the shuddering laughter would indicate that she is wrong. This distracts both of them from delivering lines, or even what the lines are. Never mind, Hilary is here! Fortunately, they have both recovered by the time they reach the love duet. The hand-holding and cat-calling induce more giggles but they just about reach the end of the song.

Lots of people assemble in the wings ready for the next entrance, but Martin reminds us that only named characters, who have a line, should be coming on. Poor Emily and Jan sidle back to their seats. Nairne and Charlie are so busy spatting that I thought for a moment they weren't paying attention but it seems they were actually acting. Martin then gets us to run through the scene again but with a little movement choreographed into it so that it looks more natural.  There's a general reminder that if you can't see the audience, they're looking at your back.  They run the scene again and it works better though Martin has been taking notes.

Time now for Catherine's solo again which is even better than last time I heard it.  Some of her dance steps... Well, you'll have to buy a ticket and come and make your own decision.

The walk-down goes well enough but anyone who thought it would be time to go home gets a timely reminder from Martin - we're going from the beginning again. Back to the opening song for Act One!  We've all warmed up by now so the lines and laughs come - well, if not thick and fast, at least relatively fluently.  Although Charlotte seems uncertain about the direction she should be crawling in and Sandy has to duck out of the way.

Matthew does a semi-gallop across the stage but his 'horse' is not only too far behind him but has also failed to acquire any coconut halves. Monty Python have nothing to worry about.

For the hunting scene, there is a difference of opinion between Martin and Sarah about the build-up so although Sarah has played something, Martin continues to demonstrates a dum-de-dum until Sarah takes the hint.  Suzanne varies the cue for the mass exit of the chorus but they don't realise this until Martin points it out though then they beetle off quickly enough.

Beauty is perfecting the delivery of her goody-goody lines to the point that several members of the audience are nauseated in addition to the cast, so this bodes well for the performance, which, as I've already mentioned, is less than a month away.

We stop after a short while to revisit Songs Eight and Nine, which were done earlier in the evening so the possibility of having forgotten them already is pretty high. Between us, we probably remember the whole of Song Eight, though there are a few patchy sections of chorus line. Consequently, Martin wants it done again. It's um better, according to Martin, but for now it's best to move on to Song Nine.

This is slightly dodgier. I suspect that it is not meant to be a comedy number, nor is it meant to be completely static in verse two but so many people have forgotten how it's supposed to go that there's no one to follow/copy. However, Martin is deep in conversation and Amanda isn't here so the best thing is probably to give up for now, which is what we do.

I'm away again next Sunday (and Friday too, for what it's worth) so if you want a blog update for those rehearsals, I'm going to need some notes off you again. Email them ASAP and we'll see what happens!

Running the whole thing

Kim is disappointed that I didn't mention her double glasses last week - so for all those who missed out, Kim was at times wearing two pairs of glasses at the same time. Doubtless this was why she couldn't tell her left from her right!

Songs first - and a big welcome to Amanda who has come to help with the choreography which is apparently required when we're singing! Lauren is unfortunately just so busy with her career that she can't make it again, and Kim and Daisy have been brilliant, but it really needs someone to watch while we're dancing, so Amanda's eagle eye has been brought in. And radically, we start with Song One...

There are a few people missing which means that one group circle consists of Dan and Miles but they take it in good heart. We get to the end roundabout the same time that a couple of people arrive, but Amanda is ready with her notes already. Hands and feet need to go in the same direction and she wants Big Gestures for the opening number. Run through it again to demonstrate that we're all putting her notes into practice and a couple of lines in Amanda already has to remind people to SMILE!  Stop partway through again for more reminders, including huge waves to Nairne and Charlie. Cue laughter as Jackie points out that we'll have to do a *really* big wave for Charlie to see as he's not here yet. Back to the circles. Amanda isn't happy with some of the counts, which differ from circle to circle, and the circular shift across the stage which just looks *odd*, so both aspects are addressed using the central group of Jackie, Liz, Lesley and Christine to demonstrate.  Quick rehearsal of all of us and then back to the beginning of the song again.

Jazz hands at the end of that and Amanda is ready to do song two, but Jackie has a question about the end of song one to do with lunges. Amanda needs Miles’s body and there is a suggestion that Miles needs to get a new body but the windmill arms are agreed and we have the promise of potentially revisiting it later as we need to move on now.

The Prince is absent and his two sidekicks are involved in deep but irrelevant conversations so the song takes a little longer to get started than intended. Amanda tries counting to get everyone quiet and in position but even on reaching twelve, we're not all ready. Less than a month, people!  We don't get to the end before Amanda stops and asks if she can change it. Steve protests weakly, saying we haven't finished yet, but Amanda has watched the DVD so she wins.  The new version is a little more energetic and it means that the chorus will no longer have the security of something we can do in our sleep (and sometimes it may look as though we *are* asleep!) but it is probably more exciting to watch. Dan takes to the new dance with the biggest grin in history - how long can he keep this up?  Our Prince arrives at this crucial point and despite the change of routine, recognises it as being a song that he is in - impressive! There's a lot of galloping on the spot and I'm tempted to ask if anyone has any coconut halves but Amanda has already made it clear that she doesn't have long today so I won't upset her. There has been a fair amount of walking this number through but as we get to the point of doing it from the beginning again, Martin asks if we can do it with the band as they need to practise too! Girls in heels are warned to practise galloping with flats so that we don't need to utilise any of our first aid skills.

That seems to go quite well so now we move onto the act one finale before Amanda has to go.  There's an awkward moment when Cathy forgets both her lines and her moves but she soon picks up her thread again.  Amanda wants to rearrange the chorus into an outer line and an inner line which Liz mishears as dinner time but perhaps she hasn't had her tea. The lines are organised and a step given which is rehearsed to "back smile forwards back smile forwards" from Amanda. Steve likes these particular lyrics but I don't think Martin will change them for him. Amanda also wants heads out front and the look on Steve's face suggests he's wondering about a tortoise dance but he'll get there... There's a changeover now which may not have enough time for the outer line to cross completely unless they run. Amanda tells them to stay where they are and not to panic but once we've tried it out it doesn't work so there is a rethink.  She settles on a weave to be done in the style of rumba which we rehearse once before going back to the beginning of the whole song. A couple more tweaks before Amanda has to leave and we have to move on.

Thank you to Amanda before we all sit down ready to run the whole show through - a challenge!  Martin reminds people that they need to have their props now, or at least something in their hands if they don't have their prop for some reason, which should probably not be their scripts, though he doesn't say this.

Act one goes relatively smoothly in the opening couple of scenes though a few people aren't quite in place in time, including Dorota who makes up for it by then tripping substantially over Jenni (we can all laugh as no-one is injured). Dorota looks as though she would be a really good Twister player.  Rod is expected to multitask and Nick is loitering as long as possible on his chair rather than under the table but he eventually makes it into position and is not late for his glorious entry! Suzanne requests some more music to mark her entry and promptly forgets her line. (She only got back from her hols today so she's probably jet lagged.) Liz freezes with her mouth open but is too slow when Matt points at her and he retains all his fingers.

The Dame is mid-opening speech when the Beast returns from the gents with some of his costume on, which completely distracts 'her' and makes the rest of us laugh.  Comparisons with Cheryl Cole are made but that's a little unfair. The Dame is also distracted when Tina tries to kiss Diane sooner than scripted, which again makes the rest of us laugh, including Tina and Diane. Nairne stands in for Beauty which is a bit of shock because Rod has to change the angle of his neck considerably when talking to her.

At this point in proceedings, Simon and Sarah have clearly decided that it's too cold to play musical instruments and after inserting some money into an appropriate slot, turn on the heaters. They're a little noisy but will doubtless warm the room up a bit. Mark positions himself so that his head can also be warmed up while Steve inadvertently dismantles his pasting brush. Celia makes a small note in the script.  Dan tries to avoid being hidden behind the wallpaper so he clearly hasn't read the script in enough detail!  The head-in-bucket moment in enhanced by the addition of the brush to the bucket so that when tipped up, the brush falls out past the Dame's nose.

Time for the backstage crew to do some work and we move on to the next scene. Rod does some rather risqué improv and one can only assume he's hoping to be the Dame next year. The Beast appears to be in some considerable discomfort and I really hope he's acting!

Song Three is not one that Amanda looked at and it shows so after two and half lines; Teni stops the band and the singers ready to remind us of the steps. As the chorus splits into two halves it transpires that Andrew doesn't know which half he is supposed to belong to as he is left standing in the middle of the back before scuttling vaguely towards the nearest group. Sarah reminds us that it's sniff-always travelling and Teni has a couple of other notes for us. Celia wonders if just doing the song again will sort the problems though Martin is clearly dubious. In addition, the quality of the singing has deteriorated as we concentrate on the dance moves. Even MD Steve has noticed! After some debate and another run through, Martin decides to move on.

The Beast induces lots more laughter on his next entry and Nairne continues to stand in for poorly Beauty. She is hoping to get out of the song but the audience and Martin over-rule her.  After a Beastly rendition, we break for coffee.

The main announcement this week is about Martyn's funeral - 1.30 this Wednesday at Launton church and then the sports and social club afterwards. Some singing in church, in a small group, then more of a jam at the sports and social club. There is a meeting at Mole Hole tomorrow 7.30 for informal rehearsal. There will be a collection from LVP - flowers are family only - for something like a tree or similar. Helen has suggested a couple of charities that could be supported and much of the panto proceeds will go to those.

Costumes have had a major sort and progress from Jackie and Cathy - the sparrows have hatched... Advertising - has anyone who wants to advertise not been approached yet? See Nikki or Martin and Celia.  10-11.30 next Sunday for children's rehearsal. There is a cd with their music on for anyone who needs it.  Chorus costume call 29th (except for Daisy).

Is that everything? Probably. So, on with the show. The Good Fairy has had to go home poorly so Serin agrees to stand in for her. Action continues with other stand-ins until Suzanne has to encourage additional audience participation while she remembers her next line... She successfully survives her solo song and then says, "I've got no idea after that."  Fortunately, Hilary is ready and waiting!

The Birthday Song reminds me that I completely forgot to wish Liz and Chris happy birthday earlier this week, for which my most profound apologies. And Happy Birthday, both of you. We also scoot past the Audience Song, which has some inspired dancing from the chorus though Martin won't let us do it again. The Birdy Song has nothing on us!

We skip half a scene that only involves the two stand-ins and head for the Oi! song. It's a little ... um... And we move on to the rest of that scene.  Miles seems to be confused between anything and nothing but Audrey's amazing prop distracts us for him. We get to the act one finale song but the dancing is not quite as fluent without Amanda's beady eye on us.

Straight on to Act Two and Song Nine. That's Song Nine, not Song Seventeen, Steve. Once we've got the right tune to sing to, we stand more of a chance.  Next is the second messy scene, less messy at present as the props aren't all here. There is a brief instruction to Nick to get into the bucket, but he ignores it. We skip the end of the scene to give those involved more chance to learn their lines and move onto Charlotte's solo - from the extremely ridiculous to the rather sublime. Charlotte and Daisy's dance still needs some work but Martin will try to get them together with Amanda to choreograph it completely.

Suzanne teams up with the teens next, who have some very bad behaviour planned. Typecasting, Martin! Chris even channels Igor despite the height difference. Serin gets so carried away with being evil that she skids into a face-down position on the floor, but immediately bounces back up. The things some people do to get into the blog!

Mark's next appearance is wearing a tent - a different look for him. Trying to navigate before he has found the small hole through which he can see is a challenge, especially when inadvertently attached to a chair which follows him. After a brief visit to the gents which may or may not have been tactical/deliberate, Diane and Tina wield their umbrellas most successfully. 

Song Fourteen may have a familiar tune and similar words but the dance for the verse is presumably different as there seems a certain lack of fluency in it. Doubtless it will go on Martin's list for additional rehearsal. Especially the way the song continues after a key change, since some people seem ready to leave the stage a little too early.

It's getting a bit late now so Martin calls a halt to the action and says that next week we will tart with Act Two. Check words over in the meantime - there's clearly been a lot of work done already but it still needs more.  We're just going to rehearse the SFX scene since the band would like to work on it, but everyone else can go.

The SFX dancers make their first attempt at the scene and then get some advice from Martin. Sarah carries on practising the riff in the background and Steve MD wants to do it again, which I'm pretty certain will happen once the discussion has finished. Which it does. And so to bed. Or the pub, whichever you prefer.

Act Two, with songs!

Early start for the chorus - the dances from act two. We start with the final finale, with the instruction to "do what you can remember, then we'll fill in the gaps and then we'll do it again. And don't forget to sing!"

This seems to go quite well considering although the oi! that the ending has acquired is not exactly in unison. We get ready to do it again with Martin muttering under his breath that he'd probably better do it too this time. The music starts as a couple more members of the chorus join the lines and Martin is nowhere to be seen but then I spot him, loitering in a back row where it will be less obvious if he should happen to get the dance steps wrong. Director's perks! There is a short debate at the end of this run through about who should bow when, as Steve wants his own bow and is somewhat miffed that he doesn't yet have one, but Celia gives in to his demand almost immediately! Rod is confused about which hand he should be saluting etc with when, so the natural choice of someone to stand in the middle and remind him (and anyone else who is having trouble) is Daisy. She's a good sport!

Before a final attempt at this number, Martin and Celia tag-team each other on reminders and notes until Martin tries to speak over Celia - apparently it just pops out while he's thinking about it. Slightly worrying over-share? It goes pretty well although a couple of people who shall remain nameless (to spare Jackie's and Lesley's blushes) are carrying the song lyrics with them for occasional reference.

Now it's back to the beginning of act two, everyone's favourite song. No, not *that* favourite song, the other one! This would be so much easier if I could name everything but I don't want to spoil the surprise for anyone.... Again, "do what you can remember though," Martin says, "I'm sure you've been studying your DVDs over Christmas." After the first run-through, Martin asks if there are any problem bits. There's no answer but this is partly because a gaggle of dancers has surrounded Kim and her notes to clarify all those problem bits. Kim starts stripping off again as she, Daisy and Celia do the steps of the final line slowly, fitting the song-words to the steps. An earlier verse is now stepped through as we all watch Lesley. Well, watch/copy though for some, there's a bit less copying and a bit more watching.

For the next verse, there is a lot of debate about who moves when, and precisely what the moves are supposed to be, a debate exacerbated by the persistent of the band in practising various runs and chord sequences, all done individually quietly but cumulatively with the debate and the stepping, rather loud! However, they do reach a decision and Celia asks if we can do it again. This time, Kim will demo for one half and Daisy for the other half. This would work better if Kim was used to the routine for the side she is supposed to be leading, but never mind! That was kind of all right, Martin decides, so now it's on to a different number, the teen routine, while everyone else gets a chance to rest their feet and check the words.

The teens do a pretty good job of the dance steps, coffee grinder included, despite their depleted numbers, though the singing support they are supposed to be getting from those sitting down is non-existent, or failing that, drowned out by the various conversations.

Now time for our other favourite song. Those who like twirling are instructed by Martin to stand in the front row, those who don't should head for the back and hope. The back row is surprisingly not overloaded! Mostly people are happy with this, so Martin asks now for a rendition of song 18. This includes everyone except Beauty and the Beast, so there's not much of an audience left. This is probably just as well, given the familiarity (or lack thereof) with the steps as demonstrated by some of the dancers. Once through with the music and then it's time to break the steps down into smaller sequences and practise them. Daisy and Kim debate some of the finer points but between us we reach a consensus of what the steps *should* be. Twice through with the music and then Martin wants to move on. Time to start Act Two!

Everyone has sat down and it takes a moment before we realise that after two lines, the chorus have a song and dance number to do, so it's everyone up again! Given that we've just done this one, the singing is a little subdued in places, but perhaps it's because Beauty is standing in the middle of them this time.

Without giving too much away, the Dame's substitute is no substitute when it comes to writing on people, and Beauty's sisters simper and giggle quite beyond belief. Quite nauseating, though obviously, you can still eat ice-cream in the interval.

Also, I get to hear Charlotte sing her solo, which is pretty awesome. It seems my informants were not exaggerating! There's a dance shortly after this for which it appears the music has not been decided. There is a lengthy discussion about the length, style and tempo of this piece both with and within the band. Eventually a decision is reached and we are able to proceed.

We get to the teen scene. There's a dance, but then there's some acting. The delivery is very much in a teen-style, but despite laughter from the audience, Martin says that's appropriate! Once they've gone, it's time for one of Shirley's solos. She's a bit worried about this but it sounds fine to me.

The action progresses despite Hilary having to do some prompting - one line Shirley hadn't even highlighted - and then it's another chorus number, preceded by some speech. Everyone has a word or two but they seem to have forgotten them since the last rehearsal of this scene. Work continues on to another dance number which is cast now, to the surprise/pleasure of those cast, and some new music, which MD Steve tells me later was only asked for this morning, so it was almost composed as we went along.

A break for coffee and then announcements before we start again, including another request for help with the set-painting. Also, next weekend we'll try to run the whole show, which should be interesting. Ideally, know the words, especially for the songs if that's all you do, and remember to smile. Start at 6 again, with a run through of act one routines first.

And then we can carry on. Andy has a brief moment of semi-glory doing a duet with Shirley, and Audrey commits herself to making even more props. Nairn has to stand in for Suzanne and takes particular relish in the line "I'm enjoying this!" Martin is standing in for the Beast and tries to do the kissing scene again but their relative heights stops him...he tries again at the end of the duet but there's so much laughter from the audience that he gives up. Another line that Shirley forgot to highlight is - um - highlighted when she forgets to deliver it. I get to hear a solo song from Catherine for the first time, in which she demonstrates remarkable comic talent as well as her singing abilities (though it may have been my imagination that she sang 'characters to eat' rather than 'meet', or at least let's hope).

A couple of familiar-looking numbers follow, mostly because we did them earlier this evening, though a couple of peebles are still a little hazy in places, and Beauty gets jilted *again* as the Beast isn't here. 'Jilted Again' is a Puppini Sisters number, but all our music is original so we're not doing that.

We've reached the end now but there is time left, so Martin gets Catherine to do her song again - mostly for the pleasure of listening to it, I suspect - and then another pass at song 18, as Martin thinks he's not the only one who hasn't got a confident grasp on the steps. It's just as well for Rod that he has Cathy next to him who knows what he should be doing, otherwise he'd be in completely the wrong place. There's some spinning and stepping into lines from groups, so the central group, which includes (surprise surprise) Kim and Daisy, demonstrates perfectly. Lots of small group practice and argument, and then Martin wants to take it from the top. A bit too much noise for him to be heard, so he tries again, with support from Dan, and we do indeed take it from the top. It's definitely better than it was, but there's still room for improvement. Since there's also time for improvement, we take it from the top again...

A quick go at song 9 again... We'll see how quick is quick. But once through is 'not bad' in martin's opinion, so then it's on to song 14 again. Just as well we're practising this as there's a lyric fail in verse two and then, because they've been thrown by the lack of lyrics, Daisy and Jackie talk behind their hands about what the next step should be. That's the only problem with learning steps to words - once you forget the words, you stand no chance of remembering the steps! We do it again and I'm sure I can hear Jackie calling out, "Right, back, left," at more than one point, despite an improved volume in the singing.

Another opportunity for the teens to do their dance now, which the chorus gratefully accept as an opportunity to sit down. Unfortunately they do it far too well which means in no time at all we're all standing up again for a chance to do the walk down and the final song again. The (small) audience applauds nobly as each section of the cast takes their bow, although why Rod walks down by himself is a little baffling... Presumably he's supposed to have a thing going on with his housekeeper, who is absent this evening.

Dont forget to sell tickets is the final instruction from Martin! So, don't forget!